Break it or make it

A short guide on how to not scare the guy off too fast too soon. Just a few no-no's and some advice when you are starting off with someone or just seeing someone you really like. Follow these tips and you will be sailing away in the right direction. 

I have put it out there for you brutally but with all honesty, it is what it is and that's how we speak when we speak about it, so let's get started. 

BEING TOO NEEDY

Do your own thing, meet up with your friends, enjoy life and stop *insert here* him. He is doing him, working, occupying himself with his hobbies, passions and other life responsibilities. He is not at your entire disposition, stop that entitled attitude and do you before you think of anyone else. Of course you can *insert here* but just keep in mind that just because he doesn’t reply to you fast doesn’t mean he is patching you, give him a break. And you, have a kit kat.

*Calling

*Texting

*Instagramming

*Snapchatting

*Messaging

*SOS signalling

CRAVING ATTENTION

Stop trying the be the focus of attention, he doesn’t care what you did last night or if you finished the whole tub of ice cream whilst watching Chalet Girl, no one asked and probably no one cares. If he doesn’t ask stop coming up with boring conversational topics that are just as empty as your brain. And if you want to talk come up with something more interesting than just:

            -Hi, how are you? 

      -Entertain me

      -I’m bored, what are you up to?

Just get straight to the point and talk about significant topics. I don’t know, you come up with it, and if you can only talk about how many shots you did last night before hitting the floor then maybe you need to rethink about what really matters to you.

you are DEMANDING 

If you are in the early stages of getting to know each other or if you haven’t defined the relationship. Who do you think you are asking about the last girl he added as a friend on Facebook, this applies to any other social media. Just because he sleeps with you, doesn’t mean he wants to be with you forever, take it easy. One step at a time. Maybe the girl he added was his sister who just decided to get Facebook back after maybe deleting it because she heard about the Cambridge Analytica scandal, who knows?

But, certainly, questioning him as if you guys are ride or die and making him feel bad about it won’t take you to the next level. Sure, you can ask but don’t get mad about it or give him the silent treatment without even talking about what made you mad in the first place. I’m just saying.

USING INTERCOURSE AS A WEAPON

Why you mad bro? Don’t manipulate by using this weapon in your favor. It will make guys wonder about your standards. Do you even respect yourself? If you want to solve the issue communication is the key, solve it with communication.

ADVICE

Be laid back until you both understand each other; every person is a whole world. Just because the guy you used to date was a certain way doesn’t mean the one you are seeing now will be. Take it easy.

Pace yourself, don’t rush into anything. Be a procrastinator in this area.

Get a feel for the person, what they are like, how their mind works, what is their personality like and so on, you get the vibe.

Give and take at the same the same level, don’t invest in someone if they are not investing in you.

And last but not least don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.


Check out this short but sweet video from the expert, Matthew Hussey. He knows what he is talking about, check him out!

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed are solely my own and do not express the views or opinions of my University