How to survive friends with benefits

Before I start, let’s ask ourselves what are friends with benefits? 

Simply (but complicated enough sometimes) they are friends or acquaintances that you just happen to want to sleep with, no strings attached.

What does no “strings attached “mean? Well I don’t want to be in a relationship, or meet your pals and family, etc. I just want to have a good time with you and only you at a certain time and then get on with my life.  

Let’s be honest, this is not how it usually goes. There’s always some type of inflicted drama going on and therefore people just lose hope about having FWB.

Now, below I have a short but straight to the point guide on how not screw up.

kEEP IT MINIMAL YOU ANIMAL

 Just keep the contact minimal. Not that type of contact, the communicative type of contact. Communicate when needed, don’t get in touch just to ask about how his day is going, his day is probably going very well thanks for asking. He is not interested in anything else other than getting on with you.

You don’t want to get into details about them, their hobbies, their dog Toby, well maybe about their cute dog but nothing too personal. Too much information can defeat the purpose of a friends with benefit relationship. You want to get laid not get into deep meaningful conversations.

IT IS WHAT IT IS

Don’t try to turn this into something else, don’t force it. If there’s more to it than just friends with benefits it will happen organically. If you force it then he might just lose all interest and move on to the next friend. If it’s meant to be it will be, don’t rush it.

RULES BY DUA LIPA

Nothing to do with Dua Lipa, but she does gives good advice about exes, check her out.

On this occasion if you are both starting off as friends with benefits and you can smell danger-drama then it’s always better to communicate what you both are expecting from each other at the beginning so that you don’t end up hurt and feeling offended if he doesn’t call to ask about how your cat Bambi is doing.

Set rules to be on the safe side of things, even better just pull up a 4 pages long non-disclosure agreement setting all rules and make him sign it! 

ne-EX-t

If you are seeing an ex, you maybe want to think twice. 

Intercourse is not something you are using to gain him back and get back together, if that's what you think, then,  you are going to end up so hurt and hitting the ice cream aisle in the supermarket to mend that broken heart and it will just make you fat (unless you are in a calorie deficit).

It’s not worth it, save the drama, your ex is the worst option out there unless you are clear that you both are enjoying a good time together and that the relationship is clearly over. If you are past that line then it will be satisfactory on both ends.

advice

Just have fun and enjoy! And please don’t get mad if he is not texting you 24/7, that’s not what it is about. Don’t be telling anyone about it, you don’t want your friends to be talking about it and bringing it up every time they have a chance. The less people involved the less messy it will be.

You know what I am going to say; don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.


If you want to keep on reading, check this article here: Friends With Benefits, and Stress Too as it provides studies and an insight about this type of relationship.

Disclaimer

Opinions expressed are solely my own and do not express the views or opinions of my University.